so here is the day, the way first day when I decided that we are going to do this, write this blog. So let's start, first of all I am a Mistress and I have a full time slave. I was thinking about writing about mine/our experience for a while and here I am. :)
So the deal was that we both would both start to write this and he is allowed to read mine blog as well. Mostly I will be writing about the things that already happened so it is just fine for my pathetic slave to read this.
We started our relationship not really as a Mistress/slave thing but it was very clear that I am waaaaay above him. This is where it all started and he embraced his role as a full time slave very openly and he surrender to my control in every way.
I have all the bank cards and I control all the purchases! We also have a Contract of voluntary slavery that helps him to memorize all the daily chores he has to perform. There is also a whole section of sex positions that he has to know very well and any time I want he has to put his body into that position and wait for additional commands.
To be completely honest at first I had no idea how much responsibility this brings in my life but I absolutely love it. I love that I have the power to control and command someone! I love to see him kneeling in front of me with that submissive look in his eyes and I know is be ready for whatever I have planed to do to him.
But beside all that I have to admit that have not been very consistent with him lately. I did not enforce all the rules and sadly I just let it go in a way. Of course I gather all the mistakes he makes in my head but I am sure it would be way more affective to punish him right away.
The other thing that is worth mentioning is that he has his own fetishes and there are similar to mine but after a perform them him sometimes complain about it. There is also one other fetish he has that i never came across before. No on ever worshipped my feet and he introduced it to me and it is really great. I'm really enjoying it!!! All though sometimes (I do not really why) he just refuses to do that and it is kind of weird.
No matter how much I love having him in my life there are some things from his past that kind of holds me down. Right now what I think is going on is just that I set my mind on it and it is constantly there. Some things I see just makes me think of his past. I also know that is super wrong and the things that happened in the past should stay there. But sometimes I just feel he is the one who is dragging them into the present. Also I can be very sensitive about the whole thing as well. Maybe it is just an age difference (I highly doubt that is the case) but I am sure I will be able to just let it go at some point.
Don't get this wrong. I am not sitting at home and giving him the lecture about it. It is just in me and I do not really share it with him. When I do it becomes normally a little fight that is definitely better to skip because it is not worth it.
Back to the real thing. I know there is a lot that I have to learn about this as well. The only thing is that is kind of frustrating is that he is willing to be submissive only if he is horny. That can be a big issue because I can't keep him horny 24/7. I mean of course I could but there is that other thing that I also love called fucking. He is very different than all the other man I've dated before and his whole figure is something I always wanted but did not know what it is. So there is a problem because I would expect to fuck 3-4 times a week. Maybe I should just not let him cum. That is an option. Any thoughts? Well there are also alternatives. Just not to fuck and make him use his tongue, fingers, vibrator etc. But was it better than a good hard fuck after some worshipping and whipping?!
For now I think the main thing I have to be very consistent with him to make him the slave I want him to be. I am definitely serious about making him my full time slave for life. Just to train him till perfection.
I am very open for any thoughts and opinion.
PS: He is coming home from a business trip tomorrow, who knows what I have prepared for him :)