Tomorrow is THE day

Hi :)

I forgot to mention earlier this week that for tomorrow we have scheduled one very important meeting that could change the course of our lives in a completely new direction. 

I am sitting in my living room after my not so busy day and I was thinking (yes, these days I have a lot of time in my hand)... You know that moment when you decide to step into 24/7 relationship and you think to yourself, yeah this is it, I got this, I will control it and he is submitting to me... 

Well, we were always saying that he would follow me around and that in this point in our lives the career is not first thing and we will try to find that balance... Well everything has changed, not for batter or for worse it is just different. 

At some point he is like, you are the most important and we have family together and all the other things don't matter. Lately, I don't really feel like it. He knows it and I am sure we'll be able to find the balance we are looking for.

Anyway, after tomorrow everything could change and we would have to adapt our lives to it. Completely change our plans and start from scratch. He has an AMAZING career and I am just starting with mine (well here is our age difference of 10 years, but that is just a number anyway). Don't get this wrong, I am impressed by his career and the way he does things but for me it is also a matter of priority.

Right now I'm just realizing all the contradictions from our conversations that we have in the last month. A lot of things have happened in a very short time and it is overwhelming sometimes. Most importantly right now is that we stick together and proceed with the plan. "The plan", whatever that is. And yes, I am a control freak and everything needs to be planed and figured out in advance and I am freaking our if it is not. And currently it is not! So I am wondering around in the darkness of my mind. I've been living my whole life without knowing what tomorrow holds and I don't want to proceed with it. We need to figure it out, soon. I want to be in control of the course of my life and currently I am not and I don't like it.

Today we both agreed 100000000% that we want to be in a relationship and that it no longer be long distance. 

Regardless to that, I really miss my dirtiness with him, I miss sessions; I might be Mistress, Domme etc., but I am definitely one guy girl. I could not see myself with other men who would love to lick my feet, and want me to touch their dicks, nope, not my style. 

I am not going to say that I did not try to have non-touching interactions with other slave (that he knew about) and it was good, I "beat the shit" out of him and that was it. It was fulfilling and satisfying but not even close to the same satisfaction that I have with my slave and his dick, spanking etc. 

Anyway, that is it for today, will post more tomorrow when I will know more about that big meeting that is going to occur.

If you have any questions or comments feel free to ask or say. :)

Nice day.

G.

Shut the fuck up and get on your knees

Hello again.

What can I say? I think that title of this post says a lot... It is how I feel today and sadly it can't be fulfilled... It is frustrating that I am here all alone and without any service from my slave...

I just want to cut the small, everyday talk and make him to shut up and kneel. This is where he should be, kneeling in front of me, looking at my shoes; just waiting there for my next command... being all miserable and pathetic... What should be and reality are two different things.

I miss dominating him, I miss using his body for my pleasure, I miss seing his dick get hard when he smells my dirty pantyhose. But what I miss the most is for him to worship my feet! The only thing I am really interested in right now is to get through these 17 days so that I can use his services again.

He has 7 days left to jerk off before and then he has to stop... so 10 days without touching will make him ready for me. Just the way a like it. I told him to do a lot of things before I get back and I really hope he made a list. We will be together for 15 days before I have to leave again. I just want to make the most out of it. Use him as much as I can because I know how much I will miss it when I'll be gone again. 

Domination is something that you just can't fake, it is something that it is natural to me. There is a lot to learn about it, learn how to properly train your slave so he is able to fulfill your needs. 

So now I am here, alone, with unsatisfied need for my domination over him. Most importantly, time is passing by and soon, very soon he will be available again; as he should be all the time. But that will happen soon as well. 

While I'm writing this, I am in my bed, wearing one of my favorite pair of pattern pantyhose and there is nothing more that I would rather do than command him to kneel, tie his hands, put a little collar around his dick and hook a leash to it; and of course make him to worship my feet like there is no tomorrow. I would want him to completely dedicate himself to that task while I am typing on my computer. I would want him to suck every toe, I would want to feel the softness of his lips around my pantyhose covered toes.
I would want to see that look on his face when he thinks he is done with one feet but I tell him that he is not even close to done with it and tell him to go back to worshiping. To see his face just before he opens his mouth again... I want to feel that satisfaction when I am trying to put both of my feet in his mouth and he is trying to open it, more and more... I want to put it even deeper than the last time! I want to rub my toes against his back teeth and make him choke. 

I should not even start with the cleavage of my feet, when he is using his tongue and teeth to scrub away all the dirt and sweat that I've saved for him! I want to see his look from down bellow. To see his look which is saying "thank you", thank you for being amazing and thank you for letting me serve you. He knows where is his place and that he was meant to serve me, serve me with all the devotion and loyalty. At the end of the day when we are together we both feel fulfilled and satisfied.

G. 

Yellow fever or what?

Hi everyone,

I know that I have not been here for months but that is because there was not much going on. I moved away for a few months and we are still deciding what our next move should be... Still a lot of unknown and we will just go with the flow.

But that is not why I am writing this today... It is something else; As the title says I am going to write about yellow fever; as we all know it as invasion of asian population to the west... Well, it is also a disease but that is not what is on my mind these days. 

First of all I would like to emphasize that I am not racist in any way... It is more... well... hard to admit it, but jealousy. I have never had this problem in my life... and it is just kind of developed in the past year I would say. Why? Because my slave's previous relationship was with an asian girl. 

I am going through some really strange process in my mind, of insecurity. I have never been like this, insecure and well in a way freaked out. Am I insecure because I'm afraid he would leave me for an asian person? Sadly, yes. He NEVER gave me even a slight impression that he would do that in a million years. When I think about it reasonably I know he would not, never... It is just that there is that little thing eating me from inside. I know what it it. Protection. I was fucked over million times and so was he (different situations, same result). I just want to make sure that he is not hurt by anyone, anytime! All in all he is MY property and he can't be touched by anyone. I care so much about him and would never let him go. I trained him to be perfect for me and me only. We all come with baggage and we need that someone who will help us unpacked... But it is weird is baggage is being developed during the time of "unpacking". Really weird.

I am not jealous to asian girls that he is working with, not at all. Also not to a girl that we could have a threesome with and she can be asian. But for example the other day he met his friend for lunch and they were chatting, they did not see each other for a long time so they had a lot of catching up to do. This friend (who is not asian) told him that he is dating an asian girl. Which was already kind of disturbing for me, but I was like who cares; my slave and his friend don't even live in the same country so they won't really meet any time soon... well well well... here comes the surprise! What happened? My slave asked his friend for drinks that evening and he brought his new girlfriend with. You can imagine my horror. Honestly, I went nuts. Not like normal crazy, like insane. Out of proportion crazy. Why? Because that always have a lot or siblings and cousins and... You know... Yes, the moment I realized what I was doing was something like this:

Me: I knew this would would happen, she does not deserve to be there, I am doing everything I can to be able to move there... 

My reason: Wtf is wrong with you? It is his friend girlfriend. You are going to ruin everything. Shut up and be a little bit reasonable. It is not good for you and absolutely not good for your relationship.

Me: Yes, but someone could take him away from me and I can't protect it and I am just so powerless and he can be hurt... (I went on and on and on... singing the same tune over and over)

My reason: Can you just stop?! This is not you and this is not how you handle issues. Just stop it, take a deep breath. I know it might be hard for you now but one day you will look back and see how stupid you were. Like seriously he would leave you? Never!

Did I stop after this mantra that I was going through over and over again? Of course not. Because some I let some weird part of me, mine unreasonable protection and jealousy dominate my reason.

During my relationship with him I have never felt more frustrated, sad and insecure like that evening. In theory I know that my behavior is unreasonable and crazy but I just didn't want him near asian girls (well, I that case i would be one against billion people on the planet and up for a mission impossible). I needed something else. In that moment I had to slap my face (metaphorically speaking) so I was able to calm down and think... Think a lot. I went to the gym, thinking that would help, I was trying to break my frustration on the bike and lifting weights... It did not work. I gave up on a gym that day and decided to walk... Just walk and see where life will take me. I found my answer, not far from the gym there is a gallery, gallery of modern art. I saw it and said to myself: "That is exactly what you need!" Went in and enjoyed myself. Turned off my ring tone on my phone and vibration and let some time to spend it with myself. I needed it to go back, to just return to my real me. It worked. I talked to him during the end part of my exploration in the gallery. I was calm, put together but still negative, still a little bit on the edge. He was frustrated, of course, I just let him be. He came around pretty fast as well. I knew I needed some final healing step so I went to a book shop. Check the last books that came out and see all the different book covers, smell it and completely put myself back together. I knew I had to, I care about him so much and that was going nowhere...

I am trying so hard to make sure that we will be able to live in the same country, settle down and start a normal life. There is a lot of people who don't deserve to live somewhere, but they do. I know that life is not fair, but still, it frustrates me.

I need some stability in my life. Maybe is the distance that is killing me, I don't know. I don't know what it was that evening but something just triggered my switch and put me off the track... big time. 

I believe that it is important that we are able to put our self back together in order to live normally and conquer the obstacles that we confront and move past it.

Also I know I can't lock him away from the world (no matter how much I would like to lock him in a soft full of cotton box to make sure nothing can happen) and that this is a major issue that I have to overcome. And I know it; that is the first step, is not it?

Honestly, there is not a single reason for him to get rid of me. I have been nothing but supportive about everything. I've been with him when he had his bad days, been there to lift him up; and I've been there when he had his good days and been happy with him. He did exactly the same. 

I also know that in some abstract world we would be perfect. Absolutely perfect because other than my unreasonable jealous about asian there is nothing we can't find agreement about. But reality is different...

We are coming from different countries, from different continents and there is a lot to overcome in that regard as well... Deep down I know that we can do it and we will... We started this based on a trust and honesty. I know he's been nothing but honest and me as well. We are united and there is nothing that can break us. We are two elements of the same team that could not work separately... We are symbiotic. Whatever is there to overcome, we CAN DO IT. I am 100% sure.

I know that this blog post was very different and that there is nothing dirty in it. I just needed to let it out and write about it... It made me feel a little bit better and I am sure I am not the only one who is facing this issue. Let's be positive.  :)

 G.

Lack of submission

Hello

well, truth to be told there is not much that is going on regarding me and my slave.

He can touch himself without my confirmation and I can tell he is doing that often. We are not talking about it, it became some sort of a "taboo" topic. :(

Lately there have not been a lot of moments of his true submission to me, especially not days. Despite the fact that I have been sending him pictures of me wearing stockings and so on.

It is true that we are both busy but I just really miss the feeling of his devoted submission to me and to me only. 

You all know that I am obsessed with wearing stockings, pantyhose and all of other hosiery related items (also love knee high socks) and that is why I/we have decided to open a business with pantyhose in USA. So far it was great just a lot of work. This project that we started was slowly developing and now we are finally finishing it.

I will finally have a business that I am really passion about and that I really love doing. I mean of course we are talking about pantyhose that I am wearing every day anyway. Would love to have a my slave next to me every day to clean them after work along with my feet. 

This is it for now, I won't see my slave till mid December, so for now I will just have to suck it up even though I hate it.

Best,

Boss G.  

Frustration

Hello,

so here I am, back to my life without my slave. I guess it would be nice to give you some updates about my trip back to our house.

Well things did not go as expected, I wanted house to be perfect for me and it was not. In my bathroom I did not even have towels waiting to me, I was really shocked.

Than my toys was not  organized in any way. And I do not even want to start with kitchen, I spent the whole next morning cleaning it, for myself, I just can't stand it being dirty (he was working on our project that we are doing). How bizarre! He did not even vacuum the rug in our bedroom. The bath tub in my bathroom still had some mud in it because he was cleaning something. Very poor. 

I am not sure what happened, I asked him several times if he did all that I demanded and he said yes. 

Did he stop trying? Is that all because we do not live together any more? 

So many unanswered questions...

I just know that things are getting harder, and things are getting out of control and I hate it. 

I am a control freak, that is why I am Mistress but some things just can't be controlled and it is very frustrating.

I guess that is because I can't punish him right away, and he is being such a baby about the whole whipping thing. He always says he hates it but never trys to do things right to avoid it. So stupid.  

On the other hand some things were fine when I got there, sheets were clean, shoes were organized and floor was clean. But there were more things wrong than right. But I am not willing to lower my standards! I deserve all the best and all to be perfect.

My staying there was very nice though, we had some nice dinners outside, good play time and I even took some photos of us playing. Amazing! I am very happy with them. 

We are doing some new project that are taking some of spare time but now we have to suck it up and wait until they are finished. We are both want it to be perfect.

Another thing I would like to mention is I am controlling his orgasms and he asked me if he can cum freely now that I no longer live with him. What does he mean? He is fucking owned by me! He is my pathetic slave. He should do whatever to make me happy at any time.

I know there is a lot to blame it on me as well, I am not being consistent with punishment. 

I don't know what future holds for us but I just know it is going to be hard and it is already very frustrating for me. 

That is all for today, kind of a messy post, all together but I just needed to let it out and I am sure I will be able to give you some explanations when I will be in a better place.  

Being away

Hi to everyone

I am sure you can all see that I am not a native English speaker and even though I am trying to make my English perfect sometime it is just too obvious. The point I am trying to make is that he is a native speaker and sometimes we have some differences with the whole language thing. Now that I no longer live with him (and also do not speak English on a daily bases) differences occur even more often and sometimes we get frustrated.

I really miss playing with him whenever I want and I really miss that I do not have him to serve me. I also miss that my shoes are not clean all the time, clothes not washed and so on...

I am going back to our house for a couple of days next week for the first time since I moved out. Of course I told him to make everything perfect. I already have the whole scenario in my head for what do I want to do with him and to him. Of course everything starts with him doing all the chores I made him do. Basically the house has to be spotless, my shoes (that are still there) should be clean and organized. The dinner should be ready and I am sure he knows he will spend a lot of time on his knees.

He still has his chastity Fridays and so far he has been very good. This Friday he even surprised me with very pathetic picture (smelling my shoes, naked and in chastity doing his 5 min. time off). I was really surprised and happy with him, this only means that the training works. Oh and just a quick explanation about his 5 min time off. Every day after work when he gets home he hast to take off his clothes, kneel next to the bed and spend 5 minutes on his knees to remind him of his place and where he belongs to. He is not allowed to talk and sometimes he has to take my shoes and put his nose deep inside them and just smell them for the whole time off.

Since I am gone and out of our house a couple of the times he has been really bad and did not behave the way he should and he needs to be punished!!! I can't wait to use my ridding whip on his ass, put on his collar and leash and make him follow me around the house; naked and with hard dick...

I am also looking forward to breakfast in bed and while I am enjoying my meal he will be kneeling next to the bed, waiting for me to finish to clean up the dishes...

Oh and of course he is not allowed to cum for a whole week until I get there! I am sure there will be some begging but I am also sure he knows I want him to be really submissive when I get back home.

Anyway, I can't wait to write about all the things I have planned for the end of the week with my pathetic slave. I also have to say that I have been very proud of him lately and he behaved really well! I don't know if I am so lucky to have a slave who is so easy to train or it is something else. I am so happy that we both share the same fetishes and that he loves to smell, lick and suck my feet till they are clean.

Either way I am very happy to have such a great slave in my life who would do anything to make me happy and who is very happy to serve me.

Boss Georgina

Threesome

Hello again,

It has been a while since I posted something but I was really busy. So this time I am going to talk about a decision that I made a couple of weeks ago. Since we are still both relatively young and we want to experience a lot I decided that we will have a threesome with another woman. But as it turned out I am very picky. It is absolutely important for me that she is submissive as well, that she looks good and so on... I am really not settling for less. So for now I am still looking...

Of course he is really excited about it but I kind of excluded him from even looking at other girls. It is going to be mine and only mine decision with who, when, how and even if.   I told him when I will find the right girl he will be the first one to know. :)

So that is basically it for now regarding to threesome. The only think that still surprises me (or I just don't  know where to look) is that is kind of hard to find the women that is suitable. If it will happen it will otherwise it is fine as well.

So update about chastity. I really love how it looks on his dick.

He is travelling a lot lately and he can't wear it during that time and also he can't wear it to the office because you can see it through the suit. We are both very private and we both hate public exposure. After all things are getting better. He was able to tell that I was really upset with him about touching his dick and he got scared when I ordered the chastity. For now I've created the chastity Friday when he has to wear the chastity for 24 hours. He complained a little bit but that is just the way he is.

The other thing right now is that we don't live together any more. Not even close together. Different city, different country. I am a control freak and I hate when he does things without asking. So I told him that he is not allowed to touch his dick without asking or do anything else without consulting with me first. I know it is going to be hard to control and train him from far away but I can do it. I spend a lot of time teaching him to be honest with me no matter what, He isn't allowed to have secrets of any kind and it is also in our contract . And so far I have to admit it is working. He told me things you normally you keep for yourself.

I am not sure how other people do it but I allowed him to take vacation. He had to travel there for some business and he extended his trip a little bit longer. I didn't want to give him a hard time when he was on vacation and I really regret it now. I let him go for a couple of days and a lot of stuff went wrong. He lost a lot of money. But it is completely my fault this time because I let him go. He feels bad about it and I understand that. But it was me who gave him all the power and I agreed that he has his days off on vacation. Lesson learned, it is not going to work like that any more. First and last vacation that he took with all that power.

That would be it for now.

G.